My First Half Marathon: The Greater Binghamton Bridge Run

By Richard Docalavich  

So: it is Sunday May 3rd at 7-ish in the morning and I am at NYSEG stadium in Binghamton NY with a crowd of other people getting ready to run the Greater Binghamton Bridge Run 2015 Half-Marathon. This is my first half-marathon. It’s a beautiful day for a run - sunny and a little chilly. I am thinking to myself "what was I thinking getting ready to run 31.1 miles for fun. Who does this?" My stomach is in knots and my head is racing. I position myself toward the middle and the back of the crowd because my goal is to just finish I am not looking for a specific time. Next thing you know I hear the Star-Spangled Banner being sung - and quite well I may add. I hear the countdown then the horn! The race is on!!!

First let’s do a flash back. This all started about 8 months ago when I was going through some major issues in my life. A little background - I smoked and weighted nearly 270 lbs at 5”7’ in height. I was clearly obese. So I started walking because it cleared my mind - and walking a lot. The problem was the walking took a long time. So a friend suggested I try running. I did the "walk two minutes run two minutes to get started running" twice. Then one day I ran three miles straight. It took me almost an hour but, I did it. I felt like a superstar. I was pretty heavy to be able to just start running like that, but let me tell you the feeling of accomplishment from doing that was awesome. So I started running a lot. It was my new addiction. I went from 0 miles a month to 70 miles a month. I signed up for my first 5K “The Pink Dress” which I halfheartedly planed to do in September.

Needless to say I ran that and loved it. The people cheering was amazing and even the runners that finished before me stayed to cheer people on. I was hooked. I ran a few more 5ks then a 10k. In the process I have lost nearly 52 lbs from running. I lost weight so fast that I couldn’t keep clothes fitting. I was the incredible shrinking man. I know - not really a "bad" problem, losing weight really fast. So, lets get back to the point of the article: my first half marathon.

Like anyone that runs, I knew a good portion of the race is in the preparing for the race before it even starts. The race start time was 7:30. I planned the night before to wake up at 5:00. See, in my training I found out that around 5 or 6 miles I tended to have to go "number 2" and I wanted to avoid that in the race. My plan was to wake up early enough so that hopefully I could get that out of the way. So I woke up at 5:00 all ready and excited. I had laid my clothes out the night before. I went down stairs and made a smoothie for breakfast since I was afraid to eat anything that was solid. The smoothie consists of yogurt, a banana, peanut butter, and a blueberry\strawberry\raspberry frozen mix all blended up. Then I took 1 Imodium which I was hoping would help with not having to do the "number 2" during the race. I also drank lots of water to make sure I was hydrated.

I arrived at the race around 6:30 I walked around a bit and was hoping that I could take care of the "number 2" thing maybe get my system to work that out. Unfortunately I think my nerves were not letting that happen which in turn made me even more nervous! I ran into some fellow runners that I knew and we talked. I wasn’t sure if I was shaking because of being nervous or chilly. Everyone was telling me that I would do well and I, of course, was hoping they we right. I stretched a bit and was really hoping that I was actually ready for this. Thirteen-point-one miles is a long ways. THIRTEEN-POINT-ONE MILES! Am I crazy? I am not ready for this! "Stop. Stop." I told myself "You're psyching yourself out. Baby step it. I am just doing a 5k (4 times). I can do this! I am ready. -- I have run this distance before once and stopped a few times. I am not ready!!"

Back to the start of the race: I lined up with a friend that had run 4 of these before and she said she was running around the pace that I had set on my watch. I set my Garmin watch for a pace of 10:40 min/mile which was a little faster than I though I could run it in, but I could always slow down. 

Race starts: so the first mile's done. Not so bad, only 12.1 miles to go. I have been keeping up with my friend. The watch is saying I am ahead of my pace, OK not a bad thing. I notice there are a lot of bystanders watching the race and cheering which is really cool and actually makes it easier and the sign were great! “13.1 miles you are only half crazy” and “When you legs give out. Let your heart take you the rest of the way.”

Approaching mile 2: watch still saying I am head of my pace and I feel like I am really moving faster than I had trained for, which is great but I am doing 13.1 miles not a 5K. I check my watch my friend and I are running a 10:19-10:15 pace this is too fast I can’t keep this up for another 11. I tell my friend I am going to have to drop back I am afraid that I can’t keep that pace. She says "ok, good luck!" and now I am on my own. Half way between mile 2 and 3 I have to pee. No porta-poty until mile 4. I can hold it - well, I have no choice! I can’t just stop and go, people are all over the place. I will get arrested.

Mile 3: the sun really starts showing itself and I start really working up a sweat. It keeps running into my eyes and I can’t see well. I have to keep adjusting my hat and wiping. My eyes are burning and I still have to pee. But the running I am doing well. I'm still ahead of my pace. The watch beeps and I put in a cough drop. Oh I forgot to mention I don’t do well with drinking water so I take cough drops when I run to keep my mouth from getting dry and it keeps my nose free and wide open. All in all, mile 3 feeling good besides the eyes.

Mile 4: yes! Bathrooms coming up! I have to go pee. I run off to the side to the porta-potties and they are full. I wait a minute in my mind it’s an eternity I see people running by. I am in a race! Forget it, I can hold it till the next one - another 2 miles. So basically I was worried about making to the bathroom all of mile 4 and mile 5 and listening to my head phones. I had a good beat going. I had chosen club music for the fast beat to keep me going. The burning in my eyes stopped. Still sweating but I think I am just used to it by now. My body is feeling good. I got this!! Just have to pee!

Mile 6: yes! Made it! Pee time! I run to the porta-pottys - OMG full. People running by. I am getting passed waiting to pee. Seriously, I have to go!! Waiting: can’t do it. I start running again. Two more miles and I can go. Two more miles and I have to go. No ifs or buts - even if I have to wait. 

Mile 7: I have to pee soooo bad. I start thinking about how I have read articles that some people just pee themselves in the race. Now I am pretty dedicated to running, but to pee myself - not sure if I am that dedicated. I spend the next mile weighing the pros and cons on peeing my pants. Next thing I know.

Mile 8: bathrooms I make a bee line for them. One is open. Awesome!! You have no idea how happy I was that one of the porta-potties was open.  The release of pressure from my bladder was pure joy. My legs went weak for a bit it felt so good. OK, I don’t have to go pee anymore. I start running again and I am feeling awesome - you would have never guessed that it was mile 8. I had a pep in my step. I even drank a Gatorade. I am feeling surprisingly good.

Mile 9: noting special starting to get tired of running but not too bad. 

Mile 9.5: I think I hit a wall. My body is saying I am done. Everything is starting to hurt. I am convincing myself to keep going. How can I stop now I am over half way? Then it hits me. If I stop I will still have to walk back to my car. My car is at the end of the race. Why would I walk it when I can just run it and get it done faster?

Mile 10: I start joking with people that are cheering me on. That I am just looking for my car and that I will never park so far away again. I am trying to keep my mind off the fact that my body wants to quit. I am not going to quit I didn’t sign up for this to quit. Besides I have to get to my car to get home and that is at the finish of the race. This is what I keep telling myself anything to keep me going. Then I started thinking "wait I only have 3 miles left. This is a 5k. I do 5ks all the time! I got this!!"

Mile 11: Still have in my mind it’s a 5k and I hear in my head one of my run friends saying that you need to give it all on a 5k. Give it all so I keep treading through. I have yet to walk or stop except for the bathroom breaks I am doing good. Miles 11 and 12 are kid of a blur not really sure how I got through them. Half way through 12 I actually walked for a bit but I found that it hurt to walk. My body had been running for so long that it was painful to walk. My pace had slowed down considerably and my watch said I was behind pace. I did not care I just wanted to finish. At mile 12, I took 2 cups of Gatorade and sipped then as I really slowed down didn’t walk because it hurt but went as slow as I could without walking. It hurt to walk. I was still encouraged by the bystanders cheering me on encouraging me. These were people that had no idea who I was and they were telling me that you can do it you got this. More signs that I remember reading “Pain is temporary but the online stats are forever”, “ Run like you stole something”.

Almost to mile 13. Seriously what was I thinking signing up for this? I paid for this, what is wrong with me? Where is the finish line? My watch says 13 miles I see nothing but more road. Where is the finish line? Seriously what is going on? Freaking out a bit at this point thinking this will never end. I notice that everyone is turning left. I turn left and come over a knoll and I can see the finish line. People are lining the streets cheering for us for me. There is nothing more powerful that a bunch of random strangers cheering you on. Suddenly I feel lighter. I feel like I got my second wind, actually more like my 5th or 6th wind!

The last .1: This is where all the pain from the race was wiped away. I was sprinting to the end (not really but it was all I had left). I have people cheering. I remember they take a photo at the end. Strike a pose while running! I hear my name called over the loud speaker. Well not my last name - a version of it when you can’t actually say it correctly, but still awesome. I cross the finish line and the feeling of accomplishment is crazy. Friends are there congratulating me because most of them are faster than me and have ran these before and finish before me.

Richard before weight loss and after finishing his first half marathon!

All in all I am going to run more half-marathons. All the pain sweat and tears (yes, there were tears) are worth it in end. I am proud of myself for doing this and like the one sign said “Pain is temporary but the online stats are forever”. This is an accomplishment that no one can take from me and I did all by myself. I did have a lot of support and I would like to thank everyone for that. Also I would like to give a shout out to the all the bystanders and their signs and support you have no idea how much a part of a race you actually are. Thank you.

Boilermaker: a Beginner's Journey

By Rebecca Vandawalker

For a few years, my friend Sharan from college had been trying to get me into running.  She had started a marathon training program herself as an absolute beginner and she had fallen in love with running.  I laughed off her suggestions.  First of all, Sharan is tiny and I am not.  In college she was the girl on the crew boat with the bull horn shouting at the team rowing.  She is also adventurous and I wasn’t.  She is from Malaysia but ended up at the University of Rochester just like me.  I had never run before nor did I have the desire to try.  Nonetheless, she brought up trying it every time we talked.  When I went to visit her one time, she took me on a run.  She had this little timer that beeped every so often and she would tell me when we had to run and when we could walk.  I was proud of myself that I even kept up for 45 minutes.  I was out of shape (not that I had ever really been in great shape) and not exactly thin (not that I have ever really been thin either).  Sharan was quick to point out to me that my steps were too big and that I tried to go too fast.  Well, like everything in life that I don’t want to do, I tend to just try to get it over with.  Then she took me to this palm reader who told me that in the next few years I would change my life and get really into physical fitness.  I laughed.

Needless to say, I didn't run again for a while once I left her house.  Anyone who knows me knows that I have a stubborn side and that I don’t like to listen to others advice for my own life.

Fast forward a few years:  My girlfriends and I are having our annual holiday get together and trying to figure out when we will be able to see each other again.  Someone makes the suggestion that we all sign up and run The Boilermaker 5 K.   We all agreed.  Maybe it was the wine but we did.  We all had plans to train.  I did not do too well with this.  I walked the Rail Trail a few times a week.  I figured that at least I could walk 3.1 miles in 45 minutes if I hustled.  Some of my girlfriends did some training.  My friend Cori seemed to really take to running.  She had done cross country when we were in high school.  She started signing up for 5k’s left and right.

Becky before her first Boilermaker 5k

By the time came for The Boilermaker 5k, I was scared to death.  I even have the before pictures to prove it.  I got up really early in the morning, puked because that is always what happens when I am nervous, and debated whether or not I should eat or drink coffee or water.  I was afraid my nervous bladder would mean I would spend most of my time in the port a potty.  At least I was not alone in this.

All of us were texting each other about what we should wear and if we were eating or drinking.  None of  us really knew what we were doing.  We all started out together when that gun went off.  We ran with the sea of other runners.  Some people really looked like they knew what they were doing while others looked just as lost as I felt.  I made a promise to my friends that I would do this so I started running.   I was out of breath in the first 2 minutes and walked and ran the whole way.  I felt like I was dying.  One of my girlfriends started hyperventilating and didn't finish the race.  I was way behind three friends and two were behind me.  I was on my own.  A funny thing happened though about a mile in.  A woman I didn't know started running and walking with me and encouraging me.  She pushed me when I wanted to quit.  I cannot remember her name but I will always remember what she did for me that day.  She got me over that finish line.  She kept yelling, “We got this Becky!”  I started to believe it.  My time was 44 minutes and something.  I finished under 45 minutes.  I got a finisher’s pin.  I promised myself that day that I would do this the next year and actually train for it.

Ready for your first 5k?
Sign up for the Greater Binghamton Bridge Run 5k!

Feel the sense of accomplishment that comes 

with finishing your first race!

Fast forward to December that same year.  I started doing some exercises at home to make me stronger.  After I did these a few times a week for a month or so, I decided to try running.  I got a book about the Run-Walk Method by Jeff Galloway.  Jeff Galloway was the one who actually trained Sharan for her first Marathon from scratch.  I started going to the rail trail a few times a week.  I would run for a count of 30 in my head and then walk for a count of 30 and just kept doing that for a few miles.  After a few times out, I would run for a count of 60 and then walk for a count of 30.  I did this for quite some time and each time, I would try  to run longer and longer.  I seemed to have trouble breathing.  I called Sharan up and she said to slow down and make sure I could talk while I run.  If I couldn’t talk, I was going too fast.  I told her that I run alone and am not talking to anyone.  I simply count in my head the whole time.  She said I needed to find a group.

Mission: Accomplished.  First 5k done!

I set out to find a group.  Luckily for me, I have a local friend who runs and he invited me to a Beginner’s Group Run at Confluence Running in February through Facebook.  I was very nervous to go since I didn’t know anyone there.  I showed up with Jeans on over my running tights and a regular hat.  I had on the only running sneakers that I owned.  Well when I got to the store, I realized I looked ridiculous in my jeans and ran out to my car and took them off.  I came back in and stood against a wall.  A few of the guys there came up and said hello but I am sure that I did not look at all approachable.  I can be very closed off in new situations.  I like to watch and figure people out first.  Then the group went out for a two mile run.  It was a mile out and a mile back.  I had never run even a quarter mile without stopping to walk yet.   I started out with someone that just walked and I began to run.  After a little while, she went back to the store and I kept going.  I walked and ran the whole mile up and almost the whole way back.  I was alone until I noticed someone from the group ran back to finish with me.  Helen introduced herself and said she was getting back into running after a break.  We talked a bit and then became Facebook friends.  Because of the time she took to reach out to me, I came back.  I learned to run with others.  This helped me with my breathing and my pace.  Once I got my breathing under control and pushed past those feelings that I couldn’t catch my breath, I just breathed through it and begin to run without walking.  First I ran a whole quarter mile, then three quarters of a mile, and when I finally ran a whole mile without stopping, I was so proud of myself.  By the time I went to my next Beginner Group Run, I could run the whole two miles without walking.  I became more open to the other runners.  I even recall when someone asked me if I was training for a race, I said I was training for the Boilermaker 5K but really I was going to be running from now on.

Becky after her second Boilermaker 5k!

I made it to the Boilermaker 5K last July.  None of my friends did the 5K with me this year.  Cori did the 15k and so did my brother and sister-in-law.  I was on my own but I did not stop the whole time and my time was over 12 minutes faster than the first year.  I really felt like I earned that beer at the finish.  I have worked on distance since then and still attend the Beginner Group Runs so that I can get to know new runners and do for them what Helen did for me.  Next Sunday, I will run and hopefully finish my first Half Marathon which I will run with Cori.  When my runs get tough, I automatically start going back to counting in my head.  I just think that since that is how I started, it just keeps me going.  Well that and the fact that I really do like to run now.

Why Everyone Should Run Cross Country

We’ve talked about being a real runner; all you have to do is race. But now, we’re gonna talk about how to become a REAL runner. Not just someone who laces up shoes and enters a race, but a REAL, hard core, old time, runner.

It’s simple (but definitely not easy):

Run a cross-country race. 

Better yet, be a part of a team. Get out there in the crisp autumn air, or maybe the cold, rainy, autumn air. Whatever the weather (in XC it doesn’t matter). Just try a race and you’ll be hooked.

image from http://ancientolympics.arts.kuleuven.be/

Cross-Country is the purest form of racing. The very first Olympics in 776 BC had one event, a race along a river. It was only about 200 meters long, but it was along a river, on the ground that the gods put there for the Ancient Greeks to use. 

Back in the day, when the church was the main social gathering place, people would have running races from one church to another (hence- steeplechase because churches have steeples) over whatever terrain was available. Over stone fences, through creeks, but rarely on roads (and the roads were basically dirt anyway unless you were somewhere where Rome had conquered and they were cobblestone).

According to English writers Montague Sherman and F.A.M. Webster cross-country took its organized form in England in the late 1800’s. They called the races “Paper-Chases” or cross-country steeplechases. Here’s how it worked:

A couple of runners called “hares” (hence the term harrier) would set out on a run and lay strips of cloth for the pack of runners, called hounds, to follow. The idea was that the first hound to catch the hare won! I got all that information from a book titled Cross-Country Running, by Marc Bloom 1978. 

image from http://www.artofmanliness.com/

So, now you know how the competitive aspect of the sport of running began, so go out and do it. Cross-country races are hard to find but we are lucky enough to have Confluence Running who not only can find you races but can provide an opportunity for you to be a part of a team. That is one part of running that most people who started running as adults never experienced.

Team pre-race huddles, post-race pictures, maybe even a uniform all make the painful  XC race worth it. I realize that some people are apprehensive about it but cross-country runners are the most supportive group out there. Get some friends (you only need five runners and extra are always welcome) and sign up for a race. If you REALLY want to have fun get a pair of spikes, but they certainly aren't required. Run over natural terrain, up and down hills, through a forest or nature preserve. It doesn't have the technical nature of trail runs. The idea isn’t to slow you down but to give you a natural challenge and a break from the same old 5K road race or the time consuming half-marathon and marathon training programs. 

I guarantee you’ll love it, “That was fun!” is a common post-race exclamation. You’ll also develop a very real respect for all those teenagers out there in the most popular high school sport in the nation. You’ll understand and appreciate what they go through every week. You’ll feel like a kid again when you run through the mud and come back in a condition where you can actually take a shower with your clothes ON! There was once a local high school race where it was so muddy they had to hose down the hallways of the school where the runners gathered after their races!

Check out www.SouthernTierCrossCountry.com for the STXC Series, form a team, and have some fun!

Thanks and thanks to Marc Bloom for a book I’ve read and re-read countless times. Oh, and thanks to my teammates for getting me through my first cross-country race in 30 years!

About the Author:

Michael Cordi has been a dedicated track and cross country coach for years, as well as an active and enthusiastic member of the running community in Binghamton, NY.

Why I Run: Bridging the Gap to Fitness

Flipping through my mental rolodex to the afternoon of February 24th 2012 as I stood on a scale in my doctors office watching in horror while the nurse continue to slide the weight on the scale higher and higher. The weight kept climbing like the thermometer on a summer afternoon. Two hundred pounds, two hundred and fifty, finally the mercury stopped at three hundred and eight pounds. I was mortified!

That afternoon while sulking and depressed I made a life altering decision to lose weight. The very next day drastic change came to my diet. I began to walk six miles a day five days a week and slowly things began to change for me. My body started feeling better. The digestive issues I had been having were suddenly gone. I began to have more energy and my walking began to speed up.

Fast forward to an afternoon in late April as I returned from the local Agway where I had purchased some fertilizer for our lawn. After lifting these extremely heavy bags from my car I happened to notice that each bag weighed forty five pounds. Taking a step back, standing there in amazement it had just hit me: I, myself had lost forty five pounds. Lifting those bags of fertilizer really put things into perspective for me.

Joe becomes a runner in his first 5k, 2012

A week later several friends had begun to push me to run a 5K race. Now, I had not run since playing high school lacrosse twenty two years prior. I was resisting all I could but my curiosity would eventually get the best of me. Our family registered for the Binghamton Bridge Run 5K as we had planned to walk it. Race day finally arrived and upon our arrival the half marathoners had just begun to come in. The atmosphere was electrifying. I was so excited to be a part of what was going on but really having no clue what was going on. All I knew is that it felt good.

Now it was our turn and as we stood waiting for the gun my wife looked at me and said “You know you want to run.” I politely replied no I’m going to walk.  BANG, the gun goes off and the tightly packed crowd of runners begins to move. My wife looks at me and says again “You know you want to run” and I looked back with a huge smile and I was off. Mile one, I am feeling great as a gentle pat on my back gets my attention and WOOOSH, my thirteen year old son goes flying on by.

Now with the finish line in sight, my adrenaline pumping I noticed that most of the runners who
ran the half marathon were lined up along the finish line clapping and cheering the 5K runners as
we crossed the finish line. Wow, I thought to myself, what a sense of community.  Runners of all skill levels cheering and supporting one another. I was hooked!

My first ever 5K race was now complete, finishing in 35:19. The Binghamton Bridge Run sparked an entire new lifestyle. Today, September 2nd, 2014, I’m in training for my first ever marathon. On November 2nd 2014 I will be running the New York City Marathon.





About the Author:
Joe Geronimo is a father, husband, runner, photographer & throw in locomotive engineer for good measure.  He is also an active member of Triple Cities Runner's Club and Team Confluence.

How Do You Know If You're A Real Runner?

I’ve been running for 43 years. September 29, 1971 was my first cross-country practice at Maine-Endwell. I was in 7th grade and on my first run EVER I ran 7.6 miles UP Struble Road to Robinson Hill- down Country Club to Taft, UP Taft and down Hooper back to the High School.
I remember being so sore in bed that night wanting to quit and, in an era when parents didn’t baby their kids, my mother told me that if I quit I was a wimp. Thank God she made me continue to run because within about four days I was no longer sore (this includes running my first race on my fourth day of running) and hooked- for life. Back then, running was different - everyone was hard core, serious. The first road race I remember was a “5 mile” race around the grounds of the State Hospital. The spectators were patients watching out the windows. There were about 50 runners and everyone was “good”. Everyone was a serious runner who trained and raced hard.
The running boom hit and numbers grew. How many people remember the Sun Run in Downtown Binghamton? Over 600 in the 5K; I have to admit it felt really cool to be a young kid and finish up near the front with all those people running.

This leads up to a race I was in sometime in the early 1990’s, a friend from high school was running and told me that he was “not a REAL runner like I was”. Well that got me thinking - Just what IS a real runner? According to him, he wasn’t a real runner (and I was) because he ran a time in the mid 20’s for 5K and I was somewhere around 17:00 + or -. I was at the front of the pack and he was at the back of the pack.
OK, if I was a REAL runner then what about the guys who were running 15:00? Did THEY make ME “not a real runner”? Then, what about the guys running under 14:00? Were the 15:00 guys not real runners? I watched the Olympics and one guy won the 5000 meter run. Was he the only “real runner” in the race, in the world?
The answer is (and I speak with over 40 years of experience folks) NO!!!! 
Truly, honestly, we are ALL real runners.
Do you go out and train when your schedule allows you to? Do you run the mileage your lifestyle lets you run? Do you enter races and run your best? Trying to beat your PR?
Then you are a real runner.
I was thinking about it the other day and here’s what I think: When you run there is a time when both of your feet are off the ground at the same time. When you walk one foot is always touching the ground.

So now that we’ve solved that problem let’s move on to our perceptions.

When I was younger I could run 6:00 per mile easily, I could do workouts of 400 meter repeats at under 65 seconds and even under 60 seconds and 300’s in under 45 seconds. Now, if I even approach 7:00 on a training run I’m excited (and by approach I mean get that fast). I do 400’s in 1:20 and 300’s in 1:00.
Am I any less of a runner now than when I as 25 years old?

No way - I still love it and feel great doing it.

Maegan Krifchin at Confluence Running

Confluence Running has these “Beginner Group Runs". Experienced runners run with newer runners. Our motto is “No runner left behind”. I really enjoy these group runs. Running along at 10:00-11:00 per mile and YES!!!! One of my feet is always off the ground!
Are these people real runners? They sure are. They are out there doing a very healthy activity and becoming “better”, so to speak. In the words of Maegan Krifchin, a Pro Runner from the Syracuse area, they are becoming the best “me” they can become.
We all have our own level- 12:39 for 5K, 15:00, 17:00, 21:00, 31:00. If you’re out there running, your best, becoming a better “you”, then you are a runner. 

A REAL runner.


5K, 10K, ½ marathon, marathon, ultra- it doesn’t matter the

distance, it’s the effort, it’s YOU being YOUR 

best.

Yes, you are a runner and you should think of yourself as a runner. I’ve been a real runner for over 40 years and I respect you, so you should respect yourself.  




About the Author:

Michael Cordi has been a dedicated track and cross country coach for years, as well as an active and enthusiastic member of the running community in Binghamton, NY.

Just a 5k: Why Even After Two Marathons I'm Still Intimidated

I hear it all time time at packet pick up for races or running groups on Facebook: "I'm only running the 5k."  As if the only thing that mattered in running was the distance you're capable of enduring.  As if someone who can "only" run as far as 3.1 miles is not a "real" runner. 

I, too, was guilty of this when I started running.  Running even a 10k distance seemed completely unimaginable to me, though I knew others could do it.  I never thought I'd run a half marathon, let alone complete a full marathon distance.  I knew I was the bottom of the barrel, distance-wise.  "I'm not that kind of runner," I'd think,  "I'll never be the person that can go so very far."  It was all I could manage to pull off my 3 mile training runs a few times a week.  I remember making the decision to run a half marathon and wondering whether I'd ever really be able to make it that far.  

That far.  That's what entered my head.  Speed wasn't my goal, though I liked the idea of it.  I had a tendency to obsess over the numbers and find where I ranked among other runners after a race.  I loved hitting those PR goals.  But instead of pushing for personal speed records, I pushed for distance records.  How far is my body capable of going?  Ten miles?  Twenty miles?  Fifty miles?  I still don't know.  I have yet to find that limit and it's still very interesting to me to go the distance.  

A 5k race is a very different beast, however.  It's not the long, slow endurance of discomfort, but the short, fast endurance of as much pain as you can manage.  Contrary to the attitude of most beginner runners, who treat it as if it's just a stepping stone, the 5k is it's own entity.  It's its own race.  It's worthy of respect, in its own right.  How many Olympic 5000 meter runners say "oh, I'm only running a 5k" on race day?  My guess is not a single one in the history of the games.  The 5k is a difficult race - not quite a sprint, but still short enough to push yourself extremely hard.

Now I find myself in the position of being close to really competing against the top athletes in my area in a 5k.  I was never a runner, I started running at 30 years old after having 3 babies and years of neglecting my body.  I began running just to add some interest to my life and hopefully, finally, lose the last of the baby weight.  Those local elite athletes were placed on a pedestal that I never expected to approach, yet now, several years and thousands of miles later, I find myself nearing their pace, slowly but steadily.  The pedestal I placed them on in my head is now completely intimidating to me when I consider racing them.  I'm inexperienced in racing, anyway, having tried many different distances but no single distance frequently.   

Now, however, I've landed in a place where I'm approaching the runners I idolized.  It's exciting and terrifying all at once.  I keep thinking "how did I get here?  I'm not a 'real' runner."   I feel like I don't deserve to reap the benefits of all the work I've done. I feel like I'm not worthy. But the reality is, I am worthy, and I am ready to take that step.

This evening, I'll be running my first 5k in more than two years.  "Only" a 5k, but I find my heart racing and panic building every time I think of it.  I know I can run the distance, but the speed is a completely different question in my head, let alone the pain involved in pushing myself as hard as I possibly can for 3.1 miles.  I realize now that it wasn't a pedestal that I've put them on, but rather a stepping stone. And today, I'm taking a deep breath, swallowing my panic, and taking that terrifying step up to that stone.

About the author:

Jenna Jenks runs, writes, and raises her 3 children in Binghamton, NY. In her spare time she knits and dreams about training for triathlons.